Love bombing is a tactic used by some people to manipulate and control their romantic partners. It involves showering the person with excessive amounts of affection, attention, and gifts in the early stages of a relationship. This can be a form of emotional abuse and is often used as a way to build trust and create an emotional bond with the other person.
Love bombing can be difficult to spot, especially if you are in the midst of it. It can feel very flattering to be the center of someone’s world, and it can be easy to get caught up in the rush of love and affection. However, it’s important to be aware of the signs of love bombing and to be on the lookout for any red flags that may indicate that you are being manipulated.
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5 common signs of love bombing:
- Excessive and rapid declarations of love: If someone is love bombing you, they may tell you they love you very soon after you start dating, or even on the first date. This can be a sign that they are trying to manipulate you by using strong emotions to create an emotional bond.
- Constant communication: A love bomber may try to stay in constant contact with you, either through phone calls, text messages, or social media. They may also expect you to be available for them at all times and become upset if you are not.
- Excessive gifts: Love bombers may try to win your affection by showering you with gifts, whether it’s flowers, jewelry, or other presents. While it can be nice to receive gifts, it’s important to be aware of the motives behind them.
- Isolation: Love bombers may try to isolate you from your friends and family in order to have more control over you. They may discourage you from spending time with others or try to limit your contact with loved ones.
- Mood swings: Love bombers may have mood swings and become very emotional, either in a positive or negative way. They may use their emotions as a way to manipulate you, by making you feel guilty if you don’t do what they want or by threatening to end the relationship if you don’t comply with their demands.
If you suspect that you are being love bombed, it’s important to take a step back and assess the situation. While it’s normal to feel flattered by someone’s affection in the early stages of a relationship, it’s not healthy to be constantly showered with attention and gifts. It’s also important to make sure that you are not being isolated from your friends and family and that you are able to maintain your own autonomy and independence.
If you are being love bombed and feel like you are being manipulated or controlled, it’s important to seek help. This can be from a trusted friend or family member, or from a mental health professional. Remember, it’s never okay to be in a relationship where you feel like you are being controlled or manipulated. It’s important to love and respect yourself and to be in a relationship that is healthy and nurturing.
My personal Experience with Love Bombing
“The beginning was like I was dreaming, I was blown away by how much he did to get my attention. He would cook for me, get me flowers, and bring me food to work. On The first Valentine’s day, he got the key to my apartment and hang love cards from the ceiling all over my place, gave me a heart made out of chocolate with truffles and the celebration never seemed to end. I thought I finally found true love, Nobody has ever done so much for me before.
I think he knew he had me wrapped all around his small little pinky and I was hooked. Then, just like that, it felt like he pulled the rug underneath me by being less attentive, dismissive, and cold. I felt like I did something wrong and that I needed to keep up with the relationship. felt guilty for him becoming distant towards me. I was determined to make it better, and I would go above and beyond to do something particular that I thought he might like, such as spending $200 on new clothes for him, taking care of the household finances so he wouldn’t have to worry, and arranging plans for us. I only wish I had known what I do now.
He would clean my whole apartment, make my bed, and then proceed to tell me how he was going out without me. The first few times this was ok but strange then he made a habit of it. Whenever I asked him why can’t go with him ? he would say, you are not my mother.
After breaking up with him the first time the cycle began, A very toxic cycle that lasted 10 Long Years. When something didn’t work anymore he would try a new tactic. After getting away from him and working to heal my trauma I know I fell in love with the idea of a man that never was. I only wanted to see the good.
Now, I am here hoping this message can reach someone who can learn from my mistakes. “
-Paula G
If this message can resonate with you then you may also want to consider seeking professional help to deal with the emotional aftermath of this type of manipulation.
