Helping a victim of a narcissist can be challenging since narcissists are often manipulative and may not want to change their behavior. But there are actions that can be taken to support a victim.
EDUCATE YOURSELF AND THE VICTIM
Educating the victim about narcissism is the first step. A craving for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a sense of grandiosity are all traits of the personality disorder narcissism. Narcissistic abusers’ victims may not be aware that they are being mistreated and may not comprehend why they are being handled in a specific way. The victim can start to comprehend the dynamics of their relationship and the explanations for the narcissist’s actions by learning about narcissism.
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VALIDATE
The next step is to give the victim’s feelings and experiences some validity. Narcissistic abuse victims frequently feel alone and isolated, and they could even think that they are the problem. It’s critical to acknowledge the victim’s sentiments and assure them that they are legitimate and not to blame for the narcissist’s actions.
It’s crucial to offer the victim a secure setting where they can express their feelings and receive help. Therapy, support groups, or even online resources might be used to do this.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
Helping the victim establish boundaries with the narcissist is a crucial additional step. Narcissists are capable of being clever, and they could try to manipulate or control their victims. The victim can reclaim control over their life and the relationship by receiving assistance in setting and maintaining boundaries.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Finally, it’s critical to motivate the victim to seek expert assistance.
The victim can reclaim control over their life and the relationship by receiving assistance in setting and maintaining boundaries. A therapist or counselor can give the victim coping mechanisms and healing techniques to help them deal with the narcissist’s behavior and the abuse.
MORAL SUPPORT
Furthermore, it’s critical to provide the victim the freedom to decide for themselves how to proceed with the narcissist. Narcissists frequently attempt to exert control over and make decisions for their victims. The key to the victim’s healing is assisting them in regaining a sense of ownership and control over their own lives. This can be achieved by advising them to go to treatment, establish boundaries with the narcissist, and create a strategy for ending the relationship if they so desire
This can be achieved by advising them to go to treatment, establish boundaries with the narcissist, and create a strategy for ending the relationship if they so desire
SUPPORT SYSTEM
Helping a victim create a solid support system is another method to assist them. Because narcissists frequently attempt to distance their victims from their friends and family, it can be challenging for the victim to recreate their social circle once the relationship has ended. The victim’s recuperation can be greatly aided by encouraging them to get in touch with their friends and family or to join a support group.
LIFE AFTER THE ABUSE
The victim must also be informed of the possibility of the narcissist abusing them in the future. Even if a relationship has ended, narcissists may make another attempt to re-enter their victim’s life. The victim should thus be ready for this eventuality and have a strategy in place in case the narcissist does attempt to contact them.
Such tactic is called Hoovering. Hoovering is a technique that is used to get someone to react in a certain way. It is a way to get someone to think about you and wants to contact you. They will often do this in a manipulative way, making the person feel like they are the one who is wrong for pulling away.
WHAT NOT TO DO
From doing extensive research and looking deeply into this subject it is very important to know to NOT reach out to the new love interest.
Why? There are many reasons why but here are a couple:
- They won’t believe you. They are mesmerized by their charm and the victim complex of the narcissist that anything you said won’t be heard and most likely will bring them closer.
- It can backfire on you and the narcissist can see this as an opportunity to come back into your life. In other words, the perfect excuse to hoover you (learn more here). After all the abuse you went through, ask yourself, is that something you want back in your life?
- You need to put yourself first, this is your healing journey, not theirs. Fight the urge to put other’s needs before yours and take the time to heal and find yourself again. You are not their savior, you can only save yourself.
CONCLUSION
Assisting a narcissistic victim might be challenging, but it’s crucial to inform them about the disorder, validate their emotions, offer a secure environment and support, assist them in creating boundaries, and persuade them to get professional assistance. These actions might help the victim recover from the abuse and regain control of their life.
Helping a victim recognize that the narcissist is unlikely to change their conduct is another important part of providing assistance. Narcissism is a personality condition, and even when a person wants to, they frequently struggle to alter their behavior patterns. It can be challenging for the victim to accept this because they could be holding out hope that the narcissist will change and their relationship would get better. However, it is necessary for the victim to realize that the narcissist’s actions are unlikely to change and that their best option is to concentrate on their own well-being and recovery.
