In The Beginning: Love Bombing

What is love bombing?

It is when a narcissist goes full throttle in trying to secure a new supply.   A narcissist needs constant adoration and admiration for him/her to feel whole.  They are all about projecting a certain image.  It’s one of a perfect person with the perfect life. Therefore, he/she will do and say anything to acquire a new supply in the shortest amount of time possible.  This may include saying I love you really quickly and a complete monopolization of your time and personal space. The narcissist may even go as far as to ask his new target to cancel plans to spend time with him/her. It’s very disarming. Love bombing is a habit and not the exception.

My ex-narc love-bombed the heck out of me during our short courtship. He seemed like the perfect man. He cooked.  He was very thoughtful.  He would call just to say he missed me. He was romantic. He was everything I was looking for in a mate.  If only I had recognized this was a hard sell that would end in destruction.

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I didn’t know it then, but there were signs of what lied ahead for our relationship. For instance, he would call me while I was spending time with my family. He said he missed me and wanted to see me.  There seemed to be this immediate need for me to drive to his house spend time with him. His home was nearly one hour away from my parents’ home.

When does love bombing a new target takes place?

Love bombing a new target can start at any point for the narcissist. Based on my readings, it seems to start during the devaluing stage, in the middle of a discard or at the end of the discard of their current victim/supply.  The narcissist is always looking ahead to ensure a continuous supply of “feel good”, which makes them the ultimate emotional vampires.

I believe I was love bombed after the discard or during a discard in progress of my ex’s previous supply. I say this because of three random statements he made to me about his ex. He made his first statement about his last girlfriend while I was sitting on his lap.  He said he got rid of her because she complained all of the time.  She was really negative.  Another statement was made while we were on a date.  He said he could have gotten “it” from her on the first date. The last statement was made while we were walking downstairs to his garage.  He told me that his last girlfriend called and said she was depressed.  I didn’t ask any questions either time, but I did make a mental note.  Too bad, I didn’t see him for what he is/was then.

Recommended reading on love bombing: Love Bombing – When It’s Too Good To Be True Written by Melanie Tonia Evans

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